it's too late ;(

Yesterday, i learned that he already has a girlfriend. Sabi ko na eh, ASA pa ako. As if seryoso 'yung tao nung sinabi nya yun. Madali magsabi sa text o magchat sa facebook. Although I really expected that he's serious when he said that. Pero hindi. Hay, nakakalungkot. Nalulungkot ako. Excited pa naman ako para tawagan sya at sabihin na "Ei, may sun sim na 'ko! pwede na tayo magtawagan at magtextan unlimited all day and all night!" Eh wala  na ako magagawa eh. Is it too late for me to have sun sim para sa kanya? Andito na. Nangyari na. May niligawan na sya at sinagot na sya ng nililigawan nya. May girlfriend na sya.

Pero, we are ok naman. Kanina lang, magka-text kami. Hindi ko na lang sinabi sa kanya ang totoong nilalaman ng damdamin ko. Mas lalo lang lalabo at magiging komplikado. Wag na lang, sayang ang friendship. Masaya naman ako kahit magka-text kami as friends or minsan magka-chat sa facebook. Siguro naman masaya din sya.

Let go and move on sa kung anuman ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Eto ang sitwasyon ko ngayon. Buti na lang sanay na ako when it comes to moving on. Dapat lang no! Sa dami ba naman nila na dapat kong i-let go, at sa mga nangyari na dapat kalimutan na. Although, nakakapagod din at nakakasawa na. Pwede kayang mangyari na next time, ikwento ko naman na "Guys, my dear family and friends, MAY BOYFRIEND NA AKO!" ?     ^^

♫ Songs for the Heart ♫

"Hahayaan na lang kitang lumaya, Hahayaan ng puso na lumayo ka na..."

A song just recently played on the radio. Gosh, it hit me! Well, that song is dearly and whole-heartedly dedicated to the guys in my past. No matter how long we stayed together or how well, how happy we were before, I would never ever forget these guys! They made me laugh. They made me cry. They made me jealous. They made me honest. They completed me even just for a short period of time. Two of them were serious. The other one was almost quite serious. While the rest were just crushes or could-have-been's. So, whoever they are, wherever they may be right now, at work, with their girlfriends, at home with their wives and children, I'm happy for them. I'm happy that once, I was a part of their lives. I am happy that they were with me for sometime. I am just thankful, really thankful! I know that they are all happy now with their relationships. We're all able to forgive and forget. Next time we meet, I would love to exchange sweet smiles with you, guys!

                                 ---------------------------------------o-------------------------------------

"Oh these times are hard
Yeah they're making us crazy
Don't give up on me baby"

This song is for me, on my current status. Right now, I have a hard time dealing with my life. I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do. I'm quite confused of how things should be. Jobless, yes, for half a year now. Loveless, yes, for around four months or more. I just hope that I would be able to handle all of these hardships coming on me now. I tried to look for a job, but I always end up not getting the right job for me. The result, I always fail. It's very disappointing although I'm getting used to it. I also had job prospects but all of them were just false alarms. However, I am still hoping for the best. This is positivity. Well, at times like these, I really should have it. I am still hoping that I would get the job really meant for me, a very challenging situation indeed. That, I would stay in that company for a very long time. Or if I'm luckier, I would have my own business. This would lift me up and would bring me back to my senses. 

I know I can survive. I will survive.

---------------------------------------o-------------------------------------

"And this is not to say
There never comes a day
I'll take my chances and start again
And when I look behind
On all my younger times
I'll have to thank the wrongs
That led me to a love so strong" 

The song for my future.

Future love life, future career, future life, or whatever future it may be.
I hope that I would have the best of me. 
I hope to have a good career, blooming love life, and a happy and contented life. 

That's all I wanted. To be happy.
When the time comes that I'd be taking chances again,
I would give my best and be sure to put my best foot forward.
So, I would have the real happiness that I am wanting
since the first time I experienced sadness.
I just want to be positive in everything I do.
No negative thoughts, no negative feelings.
Love a lot. 

Be aware, be conscious, be free to feel anything.
Take risks, take all the chances, take opportunities.
Accept flaws and mistakes but always learn from them. 

Know when to stop.

Listen to those who have the experience.
Follow the heart. Be wise enough to use the mind.
Stay pretty, stay sexy, and always be humble.
Hope. Smile. Believe.  

Just do it!

gaya2

"I miss the old me".
Gaya-gaya lang. That's why the title is gaya2 because when I saw my friend's post saying "I miss the old me" with her pics, I said to myself, "Me too. I miss the old me".

I really do. I miss myself being so smart and bright. Believe it or not, I was a bright student way back my school days. I'm good at Science, History, Filipino, a little bit of Mathematics, and of course, my very favorite subject, English. I miss the praises like "Wow, ang galing mo naman! Pa'no mo nagawa yun?" I remember that I answered it like "Pagdating ko kasi sa bahay, binabasa ko ulit 'yung mga lectures ko at sinosolve ko ulit 'yung problem using the right formula and my old but functional and lovely scientific calculator". Hehe, taray ba?! Lovely! I miss it when my teachers and professors used to call me "Ms. Benedicto". I really love it. (Thanks to my father for giving me a very nice surname. ^_^) After the question, I would answer them in English and so my classmates were amazed. Whooaahhh... Brilliant!

While I had a job before, I missed giving money to my parents, and sharing them what I have got after working for two weeks. I used to do that twice a month every after payday. I used to pay our bills, water, electricity or the internet. I miss going to the supermarket to buy some groceries after pay-out day. Buy some pasalubong, stuff, and other basic things that we need, like toiletries, food, and a lot more.

I also miss going out with my friends and being with them until wee hours. So, I'd always go home really late at night because we don't notice the time when we're together just talking, walking anywhere, eating anything, watching movies, having gala after payout, or even just doing nothing.

I missed a lot of things! ^_^


For now, I guess, I'm at the point where I can do anything that I can do without money involved. I'm at the point where I can sleep whenever I want to sleep. There's no schedule for me. I'm free all day! I have all the time to watch TV, surf the internet, listen to the radio, and rest all day and all night! Even though I'm getting so bored at this daily routine, I'm still thankful to God because I know that He has great plans for me. These things are happening for some reasons. I may not know those reasons now, but I know that I would be aware of it in time.

L.T.S.

Just an update to my previous post. It's about this pretty girl, my former batchmate's girlfriend. She really looks like Kim Jung Hwa. Here's the pic. She also starred in "Something About 1%". I wish to have a pretty face like her. Gosh, If I were a boy, she'd be my ultimate crush. But, since I'm a girl, 100% girl, a woman and a lady, having a girl crush towards her is good enough for me. ^_^ Apologies to Wax and to his girlfriend, because I really can't forget her pretty face and nice long hair. Nice catch, Wax! By the way, her name is Clarizza Marie ;) ...

thoughts last night / 4 nov 2010

Last song syndrome - a song that you can't get out of your head when you hear it and really sticks on you for hours, days or weeks whatever kind of forgetting you do. I always have one. Now, it's Shivaker's "Shawarma".

To be different, I have my last thought syndrome. This was in my mind yesterday since I saw Wax's girlfriend on facebook until now. Ok, here it goes. I saved this on my phone while I was waiting in a tricycle on my way home.

I saw a pregnant woman. She doesn't look like a full-grown up woman to me. She looks so young and from what I saw, I thinks she's only 17-19 years old. Maybe, she's 2-4 months pregnant based on the size of her tummy. Now, I do have a malicious mind. Biologically speaking, the girl got pregnant because the egg and the sperm cells were able to meet at the right moment of time.

Speaking of a girl, Wax has a really nice, pretty and gorgeous looking girlfriend. He has a girlfriend pala! Tsktsktsk. Thanks to Hani's profile because I was able to find him finally, but, finding out that he's unavailable. Hehe! I had wrong intuitions again. tsktsk. Looks could really kill me. I thought with his looks on me, I already had his full attention to be mine. Well, so sorry for you to know that. Through those pictures, I can see that he loves his girlfriend very much. They look good together! The girl looks like the character of "nikki" on a Koreanovela called "Snow White" --- something.

This girl on a tricycle is so hungry and really wants to go home now. ---
After an hour of waiting, she was able to go home.

^_^