my name is bionne ^^

Hi there everyone! My name is Bionne. My family and friends call me BonBon. I am turning 1 year and 7 months old on December 18, 2010. Oh, that will be tomorrow! Gosh, I'm so surprised and excited at the same time! Days are just flying so fast. I can't wait to see what's in store for me in the future when I grow up. Would I be pretty and sexy like my mama? Or like my mommy nikki who's so simple and sweet? Either of the two would do, well, could I have them all? I wonder... what would I be doing when I'm on my "tweenage", teenage, and adult years? Nah... for now, I want to enjoy the things that I can do and learn to do/say right now. I am still enjoying my "dede" before I go to sleep, while watching my favorite show "Dora". 

MY FAMILY

Let me tell you something about them. First, I would like to start with my family in Balaoan, La Union, my papa's hometown. In La Union, we have my Nanang & Tatang, Mommy Payang, Kuya Rj, Ading Chloe, Ading Pamela, Airish, Ading Kate, Kyla and Kuya Kenneth, Papa Tibong, Ate Maimai, Lola Lourdes, Tatang Romeo, Mommy Michelle - who always give me jelly ace when I go to market with Mommy nikki and ate bel, Ate Joy, Kuya Moimoi and Kuya Bentot, Marigold, her sister and her mom, Zaido (am I right, Kuya?). There's a lot of them. Oh, I almost forgot, Lola Bena and ... her mom who's like 90+ years old and counting. I also forgot the name of the sari-sari store owner who always give me stik-o or wiggles whenever I go to her store without money and exchange it with a "mano" and a very cute smile ^^. Her name is Lola... I'm really sorry, I can't remember their names. I'll try to remember them when I come back next year. Of course, how can I forget Ate Bel who took care of me for almost 4 months. She's back in college now taking up Practical Nursing. There's also Ate "Tukling" Jonalyn, and "Bao". Gosh, I'm so forgetful at names, but I do remember their beautiful faces, though, all of them.  

Mommy nikki and I had a vacation there for a month to be with them for my cousins' birthday celebrations. It was my third time to go there. They were so kind and hospitable to us. Tatang even requested to the SMART technicians to transferred the laptop to our room. However, whenever I go there, I always had skin allergies like prickly heat, etc. Maybe, it's because of the very hot temperature that my body is not kinda used to. While I had "bungang-araw", mommy nikki suffered from rashes on her legs and arms. We don't know if it's due to insect bites or just because of the heat as well. Because of that, it made her irritated and wanted to go home as soon as possible.

While in La Union, mommy nikki spent most of her time inside our room a lot. She read books, surf the internet, take pictures of herself, or just lie on the bed, doing nothing, thinking of many things. Well, I guess, that's really her habit, to lie on the bed (even here in Cavite, she's always like that).

It was my first time to ride a bike and a motorbike in La Union. I was so addicted to ride into it. That's why mama and nanay were so worried about me when they found out that I am riding a bike with Tatang and Ate Bel. Although, there's nothing to worry about because it was really fun, safe and a very enjoyable experience for me. After the bike ride, we'd eat merienda. There's always merienda every now and then. Their family loves to cook. All of them are really good cooks. That's where papa got her talent in cooking. That's all for my manongs ang manangs in La Union. Guys, just hang on there and wait 'till I come back.

We went to Baluarte Zoo and also to a beach in Luna, La Union

From La Union, let's travel 6 hours to mama's lovely hometown and my hometown, too, Silang, Cavite! Here in Cavite, we have relatives everywhere we go. I'll just mention those who are closest to me. In Pulong Bunga, we have my lola conching, ate che, lolo's, and lola's, lolita's, tito's, tita's, ate's and kuya's. Kuya Lance, my kalaro. I feel so delighted and always happy whenever I see him. However, he tends to be super kulit at times. They always visit me in our house. Lola would always have yakult, stik-o and jelly ace for me, from her sarisari store. Beside the Brgy. Pulong Bunga is Brgy. Paligawan, and that is where I live. Our house is beside Lola Sining's. I can say that Lola Sining is very close to me. I like to make "tambay" in her house because her cat plays with me a lot and I really love it. Whenever Lola Merly and Lola Lucing were there, they always laugh out loud as if I am telling them a really funny joke. Well, I enjoy it though, I love to see all of the people around me smiling .^_^. Ate "Pokwang" Dimple and goes to our house and she plays with me when she arrives from Dasma. Just like Kuya Lance, she's very makulit as well. Sometimes, 

we fight over a toy. But I like her because she's so funny and I learn a lot from her.

Ok! Now, let's go to our house. Hmmm... what can I say? There's a lot of things to tell you. I don't know where to start. Ok, I'll start with the people who take care of me while papa and mama are away, who I always see before I go to sleep and after getting off from the bed. My tatay. He's tall, dark and of course, handsome. He's a very hardworking person and he's quiet. He's very calm and doesn't have any vices. I love to ride in his jeep all the time. I hope that he could teach me how to drive someday. He loves to play with me a lot. He makes me laugh when I cry. He would give me everything that I wanted so I wouldn't have tantrums. My nanay, a very hardworking person, too. She talks a lot especially when she gets mad. Unfortunately, a virus hit her after mama flew to Japan. She had to be hospitalized for 2 weeks. At that time, while all of them were at the hospital, I was left alone with Ate Che at home. I feel so alone and I missed my family a lot at that time. Although I am not that aware of what's happening, I know that the people around me are worried about nanay, that's something bad was happening. Luckily, she's getting well now and she's on her way to recovery. I do hope and pray that her strength shall be back again. Tito Kevin. My college student tito. He's taking up BS ECE in CVSU, Indang, Cavite. He also takes care of me when no one is available to do so. I guess, he's kinda busy with his studies and some chores at home, and with sleeping, as well. Tito lets me watch youtube. Because of him, I knew teletubbies, lala, plants vs zombies, and a lot more that has something to do with computer technicalities. Mommy Nikki. Well, what can I say about her? When she's not in front of the computer, facebooking,  she's in front of the television, watching her favorite shows, mostly koreanovelas. She loves to cook, although, it takes a lot of courage to taste her dishes. ^^. She's very quiet. She loves to chat with her friends thru sms or facebook. I wonder if mommy nikki has a boyfriend. Well, I would love to meet him if she does. I pray to God that she'll be happy and meet the person whom she'll love and live with for the rest of her life. 

nanay and tatay enjoy laughing with me

with mama and papa

 

 That's all I can say about my family.  I hope that you'll enjoy seeing the pictures I shared with you. ^^ 

just a little artwork ^^

it's too late ;(

Yesterday, i learned that he already has a girlfriend. Sabi ko na eh, ASA pa ako. As if seryoso 'yung tao nung sinabi nya yun. Madali magsabi sa text o magchat sa facebook. Although I really expected that he's serious when he said that. Pero hindi. Hay, nakakalungkot. Nalulungkot ako. Excited pa naman ako para tawagan sya at sabihin na "Ei, may sun sim na 'ko! pwede na tayo magtawagan at magtextan unlimited all day and all night!" Eh wala  na ako magagawa eh. Is it too late for me to have sun sim para sa kanya? Andito na. Nangyari na. May niligawan na sya at sinagot na sya ng nililigawan nya. May girlfriend na sya.

Pero, we are ok naman. Kanina lang, magka-text kami. Hindi ko na lang sinabi sa kanya ang totoong nilalaman ng damdamin ko. Mas lalo lang lalabo at magiging komplikado. Wag na lang, sayang ang friendship. Masaya naman ako kahit magka-text kami as friends or minsan magka-chat sa facebook. Siguro naman masaya din sya.

Let go and move on sa kung anuman ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Eto ang sitwasyon ko ngayon. Buti na lang sanay na ako when it comes to moving on. Dapat lang no! Sa dami ba naman nila na dapat kong i-let go, at sa mga nangyari na dapat kalimutan na. Although, nakakapagod din at nakakasawa na. Pwede kayang mangyari na next time, ikwento ko naman na "Guys, my dear family and friends, MAY BOYFRIEND NA AKO!" ?     ^^

♫ Songs for the Heart ♫

"Hahayaan na lang kitang lumaya, Hahayaan ng puso na lumayo ka na..."

A song just recently played on the radio. Gosh, it hit me! Well, that song is dearly and whole-heartedly dedicated to the guys in my past. No matter how long we stayed together or how well, how happy we were before, I would never ever forget these guys! They made me laugh. They made me cry. They made me jealous. They made me honest. They completed me even just for a short period of time. Two of them were serious. The other one was almost quite serious. While the rest were just crushes or could-have-been's. So, whoever they are, wherever they may be right now, at work, with their girlfriends, at home with their wives and children, I'm happy for them. I'm happy that once, I was a part of their lives. I am happy that they were with me for sometime. I am just thankful, really thankful! I know that they are all happy now with their relationships. We're all able to forgive and forget. Next time we meet, I would love to exchange sweet smiles with you, guys!

                                 ---------------------------------------o-------------------------------------

"Oh these times are hard
Yeah they're making us crazy
Don't give up on me baby"

This song is for me, on my current status. Right now, I have a hard time dealing with my life. I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do. I'm quite confused of how things should be. Jobless, yes, for half a year now. Loveless, yes, for around four months or more. I just hope that I would be able to handle all of these hardships coming on me now. I tried to look for a job, but I always end up not getting the right job for me. The result, I always fail. It's very disappointing although I'm getting used to it. I also had job prospects but all of them were just false alarms. However, I am still hoping for the best. This is positivity. Well, at times like these, I really should have it. I am still hoping that I would get the job really meant for me, a very challenging situation indeed. That, I would stay in that company for a very long time. Or if I'm luckier, I would have my own business. This would lift me up and would bring me back to my senses. 

I know I can survive. I will survive.

---------------------------------------o-------------------------------------

"And this is not to say
There never comes a day
I'll take my chances and start again
And when I look behind
On all my younger times
I'll have to thank the wrongs
That led me to a love so strong" 

The song for my future.

Future love life, future career, future life, or whatever future it may be.
I hope that I would have the best of me. 
I hope to have a good career, blooming love life, and a happy and contented life. 

That's all I wanted. To be happy.
When the time comes that I'd be taking chances again,
I would give my best and be sure to put my best foot forward.
So, I would have the real happiness that I am wanting
since the first time I experienced sadness.
I just want to be positive in everything I do.
No negative thoughts, no negative feelings.
Love a lot. 

Be aware, be conscious, be free to feel anything.
Take risks, take all the chances, take opportunities.
Accept flaws and mistakes but always learn from them. 

Know when to stop.

Listen to those who have the experience.
Follow the heart. Be wise enough to use the mind.
Stay pretty, stay sexy, and always be humble.
Hope. Smile. Believe.  

Just do it!

gaya2

"I miss the old me".
Gaya-gaya lang. That's why the title is gaya2 because when I saw my friend's post saying "I miss the old me" with her pics, I said to myself, "Me too. I miss the old me".

I really do. I miss myself being so smart and bright. Believe it or not, I was a bright student way back my school days. I'm good at Science, History, Filipino, a little bit of Mathematics, and of course, my very favorite subject, English. I miss the praises like "Wow, ang galing mo naman! Pa'no mo nagawa yun?" I remember that I answered it like "Pagdating ko kasi sa bahay, binabasa ko ulit 'yung mga lectures ko at sinosolve ko ulit 'yung problem using the right formula and my old but functional and lovely scientific calculator". Hehe, taray ba?! Lovely! I miss it when my teachers and professors used to call me "Ms. Benedicto". I really love it. (Thanks to my father for giving me a very nice surname. ^_^) After the question, I would answer them in English and so my classmates were amazed. Whooaahhh... Brilliant!

While I had a job before, I missed giving money to my parents, and sharing them what I have got after working for two weeks. I used to do that twice a month every after payday. I used to pay our bills, water, electricity or the internet. I miss going to the supermarket to buy some groceries after pay-out day. Buy some pasalubong, stuff, and other basic things that we need, like toiletries, food, and a lot more.

I also miss going out with my friends and being with them until wee hours. So, I'd always go home really late at night because we don't notice the time when we're together just talking, walking anywhere, eating anything, watching movies, having gala after payout, or even just doing nothing.

I missed a lot of things! ^_^


For now, I guess, I'm at the point where I can do anything that I can do without money involved. I'm at the point where I can sleep whenever I want to sleep. There's no schedule for me. I'm free all day! I have all the time to watch TV, surf the internet, listen to the radio, and rest all day and all night! Even though I'm getting so bored at this daily routine, I'm still thankful to God because I know that He has great plans for me. These things are happening for some reasons. I may not know those reasons now, but I know that I would be aware of it in time.

L.T.S.

Just an update to my previous post. It's about this pretty girl, my former batchmate's girlfriend. She really looks like Kim Jung Hwa. Here's the pic. She also starred in "Something About 1%". I wish to have a pretty face like her. Gosh, If I were a boy, she'd be my ultimate crush. But, since I'm a girl, 100% girl, a woman and a lady, having a girl crush towards her is good enough for me. ^_^ Apologies to Wax and to his girlfriend, because I really can't forget her pretty face and nice long hair. Nice catch, Wax! By the way, her name is Clarizza Marie ;) ...

thoughts last night / 4 nov 2010

Last song syndrome - a song that you can't get out of your head when you hear it and really sticks on you for hours, days or weeks whatever kind of forgetting you do. I always have one. Now, it's Shivaker's "Shawarma".

To be different, I have my last thought syndrome. This was in my mind yesterday since I saw Wax's girlfriend on facebook until now. Ok, here it goes. I saved this on my phone while I was waiting in a tricycle on my way home.

I saw a pregnant woman. She doesn't look like a full-grown up woman to me. She looks so young and from what I saw, I thinks she's only 17-19 years old. Maybe, she's 2-4 months pregnant based on the size of her tummy. Now, I do have a malicious mind. Biologically speaking, the girl got pregnant because the egg and the sperm cells were able to meet at the right moment of time.

Speaking of a girl, Wax has a really nice, pretty and gorgeous looking girlfriend. He has a girlfriend pala! Tsktsktsk. Thanks to Hani's profile because I was able to find him finally, but, finding out that he's unavailable. Hehe! I had wrong intuitions again. tsktsk. Looks could really kill me. I thought with his looks on me, I already had his full attention to be mine. Well, so sorry for you to know that. Through those pictures, I can see that he loves his girlfriend very much. They look good together! The girl looks like the character of "nikki" on a Koreanovela called "Snow White" --- something.

This girl on a tricycle is so hungry and really wants to go home now. ---
After an hour of waiting, she was able to go home.

^_^

"Ako na lang sana... Ako na lang ulit..."

A famous line from a romantic film called "One More Chance". The first time I saw this movie was when it was released in theaters in November 2007. I was with my Mare Cheri. She was so teary-eyed while we were watching it. While I, who was supposedly should the one to cry (because of the break-up with my first ex), was just staring at the movie screen. I want to cry then, but there were no tears forming in my eyes. However, I was really touched by the film's story, the lines, the characters, the music and the songs. That's why I got hooked up by this film.

Because of that, I was inspired to make a script of my own based on my experiences and memories. Well, these are just short conversation between me and a guy from the past. These lines were supposed to be uttered when we were having our serious talk before. Unfortunately, I didn't have the guts to tell him these things. Here it goes...

We were talking through notepad.
BOY: Gusto mo ba 'ko?
GIRL: Y
BOY: You're not in Grade 5.
GIRL: I know.
BOY: I have a girlfriend.
GIRL: Ok lang. There's a lot of fishes in the sea.
BOY: But, all of them were taken.
I didn't answer.

This is what I should have said.
GIRL: Anong gusto mong mangyari? Maging number 3 mo 'ko? Ok ka lang, dala-dalawa na girlfriend mo, tapos isisingit mo pa 'ko? Sinusuwerte ka naman ata. Ok na sana e. May girlfriend ka lang. Siguro kung tanga ako pumayag ako. Pero siguro kung wala kang girlfriend, e, malamang pumayag talaga ako. ok lang. Katulad ng sinabi ko "There's a lot of fishes in the sea". Pero I don't think na totoo yung sinabi mong "All of them were taken already". Hindi kaya.

Hay, kung sana may lakas ako ng loob para sabihin 'to. As much as I wanted to say "Yes, I do." Ano naman kayang isasagot mo? Sa notepad na nga lang e. Simple lang naman. Ta-type ko at babasahin lang nya. Hindi ko pa nagawa. Sasagot kaya siya? Kung oo, ano naman kayang isasagot nya?

LIVING IT UP!

Today, I'm going to post some of my poems and personal thoughts. I wrote these back in 4th year college during the break up senti moments with my first boyfriend. These notes were written at the back of my notebook in 2007. I hope you enjoy it!


6 December 2007

Learn to smile again.
Learn to laugh again.
Even if it hurts to know the truth,
Learn to live again.
Live happily
Face the fact
If now you're on your deepest
Time will come
You will see yourself at the Everest.

They may pull you down
Then always pick yourself up!
If you fall seven times, stand up eight
Prove to them that you are strong
And someday, you will be great!
Feel the cold in your heart
Make it warm, share it with others
Your family and friends, classmates and schoolmates
They would love to see you smile again ;)

Thank all of them most especially God
'Cause he saved you from the wrong one
For you to meet the right one
Ask for help for you to find "the one"
This time, be wiser if you have found the real one
If you think you've already found him
And he has found you, too
Just relax and take it easy
Never ever rush everything
For you two, to be completely happy!

Happiness is a choice, never a destiny
Do whatever that makes you happy
Life is so much sweet
Make sure you don't miss even just a bit
Enjoy life
Live it to the fullest
Seize the day because each day is greater from day after day after day after day!

SHOOTING STARS

I always thought they were just made from human fantasies
Until I saw one last night, sparkling shining while falling
As I gazed to it, it was really amazing
It was such a special moment that was really long lasting.

Right after then, I quickly made a wish
A simple wish that would make me happy
Now I know that shooting stars are for real
I hope that my simple wish would as well become real.

21 December 2007

HERO/HEROINE

tITLE NAMAN TO NG ISANG KANTA

sYA YUNG SPECIAL SOMEONE MO
aT SPECIAL SOMEONE KA DIN NYA
kUMBAGA,
HERO MO SYA, HERO KA DIN NYA
yOU SAVED EACH OTHER
yOU DO THINGS FOR EACH OTHER
wITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN

@ 0800

Ganun talaga
May dumarating
May umaalis
Kase kelangan
Para matuto
Hindi lahat ng bagay
Aayon sa kagustuhan mo
Kung bumalik man
Tanggapin mo
Kung hindi naman
'Yaan mo
Babalik din yan
Pero wag na wag kang umasa
Wag ka ding maghintay sa pagbabalik nya
Basta mabuhay ka
Kahit wala sya
20 years ka nga na buhay na wala sya e
Ngayon pa kaya?!
Kaya mo yan!
Abutin mo mga pangarap mo
Gawin mo kahit ano, basta gusto mo
At makapagpapasaya sa'yo
Kahit ayaw mo, gawin mo
Para maiba lang
Wag ka mag-alala
Madami ang tulad mo
Hindi ka nag-iisa
Bawat isa ay may katapat
Pana-panahon lang yan.
Tama?!

@ 1700

SUPLADA GURL MEETS SUPLADO GUY

Naging silang dalawa pero sikreto lang ang relasyon nila. 'Til one day, 'yung guy na matagal ng pinagpapantasyahan at pinapangarap ni gurl e nagpropose sa kanya to be his girlfriend. Isa itong moment para sa kanya. Napaka-espesyal na momento kasi first time nya ma-experience ang ganito. TAKE NOTE: SA HARAP NI SECRET BOYFRIEND NAGPROPOSE YUNG GUY OF HER FANTASIES. Di malaman ngayon ni gurl kung ano bang dapat na gawin nya. Parang gusto nyang um- "oo" kase feeling nya magiging mas masaya sya dun sa guy kesa dun sa kulang2 nyang secret boyfriend. Pero somehow, kahit ganun e, mahal nya din naman yung secret boyfriend nya.

... Ano kaya ang susunod na mangyayari? Sino ang pipiliin ni suplada gurl? May gagawin kayang move si secret boyfriend? Seryoso kaya si guy of her fantasies? Sino ba talaga sa kanila si suplado guy? Abangan ang susunod na kabanata...

One day, isang napakasupladang araw dahil umuulan, nagkasabay sa isang supladong jeep (na minameneho ng isang supladong driver na katabi ang kanyang supladang konduktora) ang isang supladang babae na may umupong supladong lalaki sa harapan nya.

23 December 2007

Cry your heart out loud. So that the whole wide world will know that you are existing. Let your heart burst into tears. Release the pain that's inside of you so deep. Let your emotions move freely around the sky. Disregard what others may say and feel. As long as you are happy, do it! Don't be afraid to try out. Enlighten your heart.

24 December 2007

MS. U

Ms. u pag I'm eating
Kasi palagi mo ako inuunahan
At sobrang natutuwa ka pag nauubos ko at pag natatapos ko na ang food ko
Pumapalakpak ka pa nga eh, hehe!
Yehey!

Ms. u before I go to sleep
Kasi dati minimiscol kita before I close my eyes at night.

Ms. u pag may assignments at projects
Kasi kaw ang gumagawa nun
Lalo na pag mga researches
Kasi free ung internet nyo, e!
Libre ako palagi, hehe, minsan pati printing, kaw na din sumasagot.

Ms. u pag may groupwork
Kasi we are dyad
I am the brain while you are the hands.

Ms. u when I'm unlimited sa text o kaya all-text
Kasi ikaw ang katext ko
Minsan pa nga inaabot tayo ng kinabukasan 'til wee hours
Kakatext, wala lang!

Ms. u when I have three-minute call
Kasi kaw palagi tinatawagan ko
Kahit na naghihintay pa ko sa'yo ng hundred years
At magring ng million times ang phone mo bago mo sagutin yung phone

Ms. u when I go home pag nag-aabang ako ng jeep pa-Silang
Kasi you were always on my side
Tapos palagi ka nagmamadali umuwi kasi manonood ka pa ng KOKEY, hehe!
Minsan, di ka umaalis hanggang hindi pa ko nakakasakay o di pa umaalis yung jeep na sinasakyan ko

Ms. u pag may naririnig akong videoke
Kasi batang videoke ka!
Sobrang galing mong kumanta
Ginagaya ka nga ni Erik Santos e,
Idol na idol ka nya!
So much, kaso in-indian ka nya nung isang araw
tsktsk, hehe.

Ms. u when I walk
Kasi you were holding my hands
Or you make me akbay
Pag tumatawid na tayo
Lalo na when it's cold o umuulan.

Ms. u when I buy Plus Apple 'pag I'm thirsty
Kasi kaw ang nagturo sa'kin nun
Ngayon, favorite ko na din apple flavor

Ms. u when I hear love songs
Kase yun mga favorite songs mo
Kinakanta mo yun lalo na yung mga luma, hahaha!

Ms. u when I watch ABS-CBN Ch. 2
Especially ASAP
Kasi I know, you're a Kapamilya, too!

Ms. u when I see Erik Santos, John Prats, Jerry Yan
At marami pang iba
Kasi you say na kamukha mo sila
Pati yung lalaki sa Penshoppe
Sabi mo kamukha mo kahit hindi naman
Pati si Kokey, joke lang! hehehe
Yung iba, oo... wihhh!!! sige na nga,

Ms. u pag Lastikman o Kokey na finish na
Kasi favorite mo sila panoorin
Kasi, "astigin!" - according to you.

Ms. u when I see Heart Evangelista, Maja, Rica, Angel Locsin
Lahat ng pretty girls with long hair
Kasi they are your crushes
Of course, I know!

Ms. u when I crack jokes
Kasi you always tell me I'm corny
Kahit na sobrang natatawa ka naman talaga.

Ms. u when I hear "Kiss Me"
Kasi palagi mo ako niloloko
Pati ung "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"
Since then, never na ko kumanta sa videoke
Kasi nahiya na boses ko sa boses mo
Kaasar ka talaga, kahit kelan!

Ms. u when I do stuff like these
Kasi para saken, it's so much sweet
Pero para sa'yo it's so much corny
You said it once na naaappreciate mo mga paeffort-effort ko na ganito
Wala lang, gusto ko lang gawin
Kasi it makes me happy
Kahit na minsan nagtatampo na ko sa'yo when you said they're corny
Ok lang! I won't stop doing sweet things like these,
Kase I'm sweet. So much, hehe!

Ms. u when you sing
Kase feeling ko, ewan!
Basta hilig ko ang music
I know love mo din 'yun.

Ms. u when you are so yabang
Kasi you give thrill to my life
Kahit na minsan sobrang nakakapikon ka ng talaga
Ok lang para naman minsan hindi boring ang buhay!

Ms. u when I make fun of you
Kasi you're so pikon
I love it pag napipikon ka,
You're cuter, hehe!

Ms. u when I see green
Kasi I know, its your favorite color.

Ms. u when we have different views
Kasi nauuwi sa debate
Lalo na pag sobrang baligtaran talaga mga ideas natin
Kase exciting, e!
Kahit na minsan talo ka na
Pero ayaw mo pa din sumuko
Siyempre, panalo ako palagi! hehehe

Ms. u pag kinukulit kita
Kasi tinetesting ko lang kung hanggang saan ba pasensya mo
Kasi alam kong mainitin ang ulo mo
Minsan sinasadya ko talaga yun
Kasi natutuwa ako sa'yo, hehe!

Ms. u when you stare at me
As if ang ganda-ganda ko!
Tapos bigla kang kikindat
Then you'll flash your killer smile :)
Kunwari lang maganda ako,
Kunwari lang ha! Ikaw kasi,
'Kaw din naman e, kunwari guwapo ka
Kunwari lang, hehe!

Ms. u after every class
Kasi palagi mo ako hinihingan ng powder
Tapos tumatayo ka na din pag tumayo na ako.

Ms. u pag I'm so much arte na
Kasi naasar ka na
Kasi alam kong ayaw mo ng maarte
Alam mo kasi, lahat ng girls may kaartehan sa buhay
Kahit na sya pa ang pinakasimpleng babae sa buong earth
Hinding-hindi 'yun mawawala
Parang "yabang" nyo din yun na mga "boys", ok!

Ms. u when I log-in sa friendster
Kasi palagi ako may comments sa'yo
'Kaw din sa'ken, minsan
Tapos mga message na "la lang!"
Pampam lang! ;)
Like these...

Ms. u when I see Spiderman
Kase yun ang wallpaper sa cellphone mo
Ngapala, nung 25, si Spiderman ang unang-una kong nakita
When I opened my eyes in the morning... la lang!

Ms. u when I eat at 7-11
Kasi dati before we go home
Kumakain muna tayo
Minsan libre mo, minsan ako
Minsan sa'yo yung food, sa'ken drinks
Minsan baligtad, kahit saan,
Sa Mcdo, Jollibee, KFC, J.E, sa canteen sa likod
Basta, 'yun na 'yon!

Ms. u when I see a white flower
Kasi 'yun ang binigay mo sa'ken diba
Alam mo pa ba'yon?
Tinago ko nga 'yun e
Sampaguita daw 'yon sabi ni Mare
Uyyy... sweet. Hehe!
Minsan may pagka-sweet ka din eh, no?! ;)

Ms. u when I have it
The "you know"
Kasi you always make sama to me everytime I buy "it"
Akalain mo 'yun,
Two months na pala di kita nakakasama bumili nun, hehe!

Ms. u when I'm at home
In school where I met you
On the road where we walk
At the mall where we make gala

Ms. u wherever I am
Whatever I do
Whenever I eat, smile, laugh, sleep, walk, everything!
These pages are not enough to say them all

Ms. u because of these
All of these and more
If you would ask me, why?
Ewan ko, basahin mo na lang 'to ng paulit-ulit
Hanggang sa ma-gets mo
Getch?!

26 December 2007

3 september 2010 fri 1251

bakit ka malungkot?
dahil ba sa'kin?

nah--- I don't think so. imposible mangyari yon!

kahit na gusto ko o gusto mong ibalik yung dati.
Mahihirapan na tayo, masyadong ng masakit para mangyari uli ung mga bagay na yun!
Baka mas doble pa pag naulit.
Wag na lang.
Lalo na kung may taong ayaw na ayaw mong masaktan.
Alam ko kung sino yun.
Alam ko rin mga nararamdaman mo ngayon, mga posibleng pwede mong maramdaman sa isang tao na sobrang malapit sa akin at pinagkakatiwalaan ko.

Ayos lang sa'kin yon basta wala ng halong lokohan ang lahat.

Pwede naman tayo mag-usap bilang magkaibigan. Hanggang doon na lang siguro.
Hindi ko na din kaya na magbigay ng mas hihigit pa dun e.

Gusto kong magpasalamat sa'yo
Mas pinatatag mo ang loob ko at mas pinatapang mo.
Salamat! Hanggang sa muling pagkikita...

Now I Know...

3 September 2010

Look at the date
It was supposedly our 9th month today. But due to some reasons, it's not anymore.
Kaya pala, ayos a nakalimot din ako sa wakas! ahahahaha
hay, hindi ko talaga alam gagawin ko. Was he trying to test me if I still remember? Yeah, right! Nice move, lolo. HEHEHE. Does he want to greet me?

nah--- i don't think so!

As much as I want to, I can't.
Now, as much as I want to greet you "Happy Monthsary!" Like what I do before every month since January. I don't know why can't I do and say it anymore? I guess I give up already. As much as I don't want to give up, you gave me reasons to give up. You showed me signs not to hang up.

So, I did. I am not the foolish girl anymore whom I used to be. Because of your pride (to the highest level), you taught me how to have mine (my pride). You gave me the strength to leave you, which before I don't have. You made me realized that our relationship is not worth fighting for, but you know what, before, I am willing to give up everything just for you, just to save us.

Now, it's time to say goodbye. Goodbye to the bad memories and hello to friendship. Don't worry, I'm still here. You can count on me anytime. You can still borrow money from me. Just make sure that you're going to pay for it. Haha. Tell me your secrets and I will keep them as your true friend. I think it's better this way.

I hope that you're happy knowing me as "me".

;p

how r u

I wonder what happened to lolo. It's been a long time since we had our usual conversation. You know, like:
HIM: hyahh-
ME: o musta
HIM: auz naman
ME: mabuti naman
HIM: ah okey-

As you can see, we communicate really boring at times. Sometimes, we were like this, (we talked a little longer) :
HIM: hyahh-
ME: musta
HIM: eto papasok na
ME: o, san?
HIM: di ba sa NAIA
ME: o talaga, kelan pa? di ko alam un a (pretending that i don't know and wowa didn't tell me about it)
HIM: nung 19 pa. kaw musta?
ME: ok naman. may orientation. (at that time, I was on my way to cvg for an orientation)
HIM: ah okey
ME: ok yngatz!
HIM: Okey-

The last time that we texted was like this (me: confused) :
HIM: musta
ME: ok naman. kaw musta?
HIM: auz naman kahit papano
ME: anung kahit papano?
HIM: hindi kasi ako masaya
ME: ha? bakit naman?
HIM: la lang
ME: huy, ok ka lang?
HIM: ang dami ko kasi utang sa'yo
ME: sus, sinisingil ba kita?
HIM: e baka kasi biglain mo ko e wala pa ko pera
ME: e di pag wala, e di sabihin mo wala

I was already irritated at that time, everytime we talked about it. As if he sees me as a loan shark or someone who's so greed for money. Which I am not.

He doesn't know that I am jobless again and I don't bother to tell him. It's like I don't care anymore if he's going to pay me or not. But, I do really hope that he would, even if it would take ages. Especially right now that I badly needed money. Is it because of my pride?

Last night and earlier this morning, he kept on texting me. I'm so sorry but I don't have a load to reply. I just replied through my chikka messenger.
HIM: naka-leave nga ako hindi naman pwede lumabas ng bahay
ME: o musta? bakit naman di ka pwede lumabas ng bahay?
HIM: sick leave ako. may chickenfox* me (chicken pox*)
ME: lagot ka! kelan pa yan? get well soon ^^

Then, I didn't get any reply. I just wonder what was he thinking or does he have anything to say? Or, is there something important that I need to know?

Whatever it is, I don't have the guts to ask him.

Sorry, I give up ;(

iamafailure

A failure
This is how I see myself right now. After failing the very easy 5-day training in Convergys called "Communications and Culture Training or CCT", I felt depressed and so wasted. I wasted money, time and effort. It's a good thing that I'll be getting backpay after almost two months. That's fine with me rather than not getting any.

On the first day, I already felt that I would not pass it. There's just something inside me that pushes myself to go to the training everyday. Imagine, coming from the farthest barangay in Cavite going to Makati. I do remember that I had to wake up at 4am to get ready for it. Get off the house at 5am. Arrive in the office at around 7am. If there is traffic, it would be like 0730 but if the traffic is worst, it's either I would only have 5 minutes left to log-in or I'd be late. Crap! That's what happened on the last day. I got late. On that same day, the trainer told me that I didn't pass the training unfortunately.

Days after that, I just stayed at home. Passed resumes online. Applied to work at home jobs. Luckily, someone noticed my resume. So, he sent me an email, about my interest on the job. We exchanged few emails and assignments. The last email that I got after I passed him the trial assignment is this:

Thank you very much for submitting your trial article.
At this time I have decided to hire someone else. I wish you the very best!

Na----

Okay. Very well said, Sir Na----. Thank you very much for your wish. I wish you all the best, too!

I actually got depressed and frustrated. Until now, I think of the consequences if I didn't accept the immediate offer and waited for my real turn. I feel bad because I should have accepted the offer from the other company.

That's life. If it's not for me, I have to leave it and look for another opportunity.

^___^

finding... looking... searching...

Finding for the right words to say
Searching for the right notes to play
Looking for the right person for me
Waiting for the right time for us to meet.

The wind blows cold
The sun shines bright
Now, it's the 29th of August
Time really flies.

A very lazy Sunday indeed
There's nothing for my eyes to see
Sick and tired of doing the same things everyday
Afraid of going out to apply and try the next day.

Now that I've found the right words to say
The right notes for the music have been played
The sun had found its place in the West
But still, I haven't found the right person,
we still haven't met.

This picture was taken last june 2010 at the corridor of the umc building where my mom was confined. Well, thank God because she's a lot better now and showing positive signs of fast recovery. According to researches, the full recovery would take 1 or 2 years, depending on the case. We are hoping for her continuous recovery.

jlc

J-obless
L-oveless
C-areless

Whatta life?!
There's nothing more to do but surf the internet
Read magazines
Text my friends
What else???

Listening to music
uhmmm...
wait for a moment
i just have to do some fixins

mark the date

8 May 2010
Saturday

Hay, isang nakakapagod na Sabado.
Isang napakasamang gising na umaga.

Biglaang nangyari ang lahat
Wala na kami.
Sa isang maling joke
Wala na lahat ng walang kaabog-abog.
Tsk Tsk Tsk

Mula paggising sa umaga at pagbangon sa kama hanggang sa ilapat ang likod ko sa pagtulog
Mula sa pinakadulo ng buhok hanggang sa talampakan
Pagod na pagod ako
Pagod na ang isip ko
Pagod na ang katawan ko
At pinakapagod sa lahat ang puso ko.

Pagod na kong mag-isip
Pagod na akong maghintay sa kanya
Pagod na akong umintindi

Ako nga ba ang may kasalanan?
Pwede bang i-depensa ko naman sarili ko?
I was provoked!
Sya mismo ang nagprovoke sa akin
O sinasadya nya lang na gawin yon
Para may dahilan para mag-away kami
Pwede rin.
Sabi nga ni Roset, ipinapamukha nya na sakin na sumuko na ako
Pero sobrang bulag ako para hindi makita yun
At sobrang tanga ako para hindi maramdaman yun

Hay, ganon na nga ba ako katanga?
Palagi na lang bang ganito ang nangyayari sa akin
Pwede bang maiba naman
Nakakasawa na malagay sa ganitong sitwasyon eh.
Kakayanin ko pa ba sa susunod na mga kabanata...

ahhh!

ano nga ba?

1135 pm. 26 feb 2010

what? ---

whewww...

lyk what I've thought earlier, feeling ko may nangyari satin. it's like stories in the movies or tv or books na mala fairy tale ang drama o may magic involved. Hay, im acting like a kid again. I know that that's what you don't like about me.

Alam mo yung parang one day, parang nagkapalit tayo ng puso. well, not literally, but the feelings, the sense, the love... etc. as in one day, paggising sa umaga, parang nagkapalit tayo ng nararamdaman sa isa't-isa. Ung feeling na yung nararamdaman mo towards me, eh sya yung bigla kong naramdaman sa kanya at yung attitude ko, ung feelings ko sa'yo, un naman naramdaman mo sakin. g0t it?

alam mo yung parang nagrotate ng 180 degrees ung buhay, tapos nagkapalit tayo ng feelings for each other.

ok, to make it shorter,,,
Aamin na ko. Ako na yung sobrang nagmamahal sa'yo at ikaw yung, ok lang, naman...

Ako din naman may kasalanan nito eh kung bakit tayo nagkaganito. Pero kung may magic involved nga, please ibalik nyo na po kami sa dati. Nagsisisi na ko sa mga ginawa ko. Alam ko na yung feeling ng mga pinaggagagawa ko na masama sa kanya. Pinaghihintay ko sya ng sobrang tagal tapos uuwi lang ako. Na hindi ko sya papansinin, at dedeadmahin, madalas. Na hindi magrereply sa mga texts nya. Na naiilang pag magkasama kami. Na kahit gustong-gusto nya na ko mayakap, ayoko pa din.
Lahat yon, ginagawa nya sakin ngayon. Hindi ko pa siguro nabanggit lahat pero alam ko madami pa ko nagawa na hindi dapat kasi bumabalik talaga sya saken ngayon. Ngayon ko lang nalaman na totoo pala talaga ang karma. Wala na bang bawian to? Ibig sabihin pwede p nya gawin saken yung pinakamasakit na bagay na ginawa ko sa kanya?

Hay, please po, ang hirap pala nun a. Nakaya nya un, two years, ako months pa lang.so, siguro madami pa kong months na pagdadaanan. tapos, twice pa, e ako hindi pa nga ako nakakaisa, So, anong dapt na gawin ko? Hintayin ko pa ba na mangyari yun samin? This time, sya naman gagawa, para fair? Hahayaan ko ba na gawin nya yun sakin?

Sa totoo lang, minsan talaga gusto ko na mag-give up. Pero pag naaalala ko yung sinabi nya saken na "wag ka magsasawa sa'kin ha" nawawala yung doubt ko. nawawala yung sakit. nawawala lahat. Mahal ko nga siguro sya.

Kahit na pagdaanan ko pa lahat ng pinagdaanan nya sakin, gagawin ko. Willing ako maghintay kahit na walang kasiguraduhan. Palagi nya ko tinatanong. kung willing daw ba ko maghintay kahit na walang kasiguraduhan. At sinasagot ko naman sya palagi ng "oo naman". at kung anu-anu pang ka-mushyhan at ka-cheesyhan ang nalalaman ko. Ilang beses ko kaya sasagutin yun? At ilang beses ko pa kaya isasagot yon? Kung sa akin lang e, waiting? sus, sisiw! sanay naman ako maghintay e. Arts of waiting, anyone?

Basta ako, pag sinabi ko, ginagawa ko.

Sana naman maniwala na sya sa mga sinasabi ko. Sana hindi na sya magdoubt saken tulad nung doubt ko sa kanya dati. Sana mapatunayan ko sa kanya na mahal ko talaga sya. At sya din saken.

Sana maging ok na ang lahat.

The end justifies the means.
(3rd yr high school mrs. tolentino)

now

now,
I am not the princess anymore that I used to be.
I am now the witch who's trying to get in the way.
It was my fault then,
Yes, i know.
I admit.
I was wrong.
That's why I'm doing my very best to make it all ok
Just like before.

But now, it's different
a lot different!

(when will i stop thinking about this regret. could you please help me)
Please.

masaya... mababaw

• Masaya na ko na may ACI sa harap ko pag ako lang ma-isa sa shift.

• Masaya na ko na 1500 ang oras ng lunch ko kasi may food n nun sa pantry.

• At masaya na ako na nagtetext sya saken, kahit na halos lahat e mga one-liner lang mga texts nya.

• Hay,,, okey.

busy

Busy waiting for something whom we're not kinda sure of
Busy waiting for a beep on my phone while sound tripping
Busy waiting for a text from my friends whom I texted
while,
Busy waiting for my cellphone to beep with a text from
my so called
"BOYFRIEND".
Who is...
Busy waiting for his bestfriend, busy waiting for his prince charming.